hey it’s me audrey, today we’ll be discussing important questions to ask yourself if you want to stay alive in the world. here we go.
- Are you currently on fire? DON’T be. It gives you a negative outlook and makes you look fat. Put a water on you. Refrain from climbing onto the candles all of the time, they’re not couches even though they look like them.
- Is the ground you’re walking on a ground or is it spikes? Spikes are there to hurt things that go on them. That’s what they’re for. If you are walking on spikes and not ground, take a deep breath and don’t do that anymore. There’s plenty of fine ground out in the sea! What? Sometimes I cry. Don’t walk on the sea, you can’t. Or do walk on it, fuck it, I don’t care. You’re not my mom and I’m not yours.
- Are you laying down when you walk? If you’re always laying down and moving at the same time, you may be mistaken for a big ass worm that is basically an idiot.
- Do you handle situations by not handling them? Good. Just die. It will help you to better not handle things you have to not handle for any of the other times you ever have to not handle them. What? Ok.
- Are you just going outside and sleeping wherever the hell? this one is actually fine, you can do this one if you want
- Do you think everyone is always talking about you and did you know that they are, literally everyone
- I like your chiffon cape and your fedora shoes, what’re you like a bat, don’t be, be a real boy
- Pardon me, i need to climb over you and is there always someone trying to climb over you and is it me, well LET ME, your life is a perspective, it’s fine
- Are you putting too much importance on what everyone else thinks about putting too much importance on what everyone else thinks i don’t know who i am anymore do you?
- Is your hand not a hand? Do you have like a claw there or a pan? Is there a baby there
- sometimes i think like a fat sailor lives in my house and is watching me
- once i fell down a stair, not all of them, just the 1 stair
- did you know that you can legally take a bath with whoever you want even if it’s like a ghost
- how many times do i have to tell you, beans. beans, man. whatever
- are you never not trying to climb into houses that aren’t yours, that’s no big deal, confidence is a Good Thing, you’re good, IT’S FINE. leave me alone,
none of this actually exists 